The Love Scale is out of Balance

I was inspired to write this short post after reading a great article at Building Camelot by Tyler titled “How Becoming A Father Will Make You A Better Man”.

I was reminded of a conversation I had with my mother-in-law in the weeks after our daughter was born. She asked if I have a better appreciation for my own parents now that I am a Dad. I agreed with her completely but it made me think of the balance of love between parent and child.

The part that had me inspired to write was this:

You Will Learn What True Love Is

I’m convinced that anyone without children doesn’t have an idea of what true love really is…not that there isn’t a desire to know or that you’re capable of knowing true love, but it’s hard to imagine what it’s like to see your own heart, living and growing outside of your body every day. When you see your children grow up and learn even the smallest of things, it melts your heart. And just when you think you can’t love them anymore, they come running up to you with a little card or painting they made for you and you can actually feel your heart growing inside your chest. It’s an amazing feeling and one that you can’t appreciate until you become a father.

True love is at the core of being a good father and a better man. It drives you to make better decisions for yourself and for your family. True love becomes the foundation for building your own modern day Camelot. The true love you have for your children will create a passion for improving your career, friendships, relationships and your overall well being. It’s amazing the effect of true love will do to even the toughest of hearts.

I think the “Love Scale” is tipped dramatically towards the love the parent has for his or her child. It’s not that the child (whether the child is a newborn or middle-aged) is unwilling to love the parent absolutely; I just think the child is incapable of doing so.

It wasn’t until we had our first child that I realized how much you could love another human being. Don’t get me wrong, the love is certainly not a one-way street from parent to child; I think the child loves the parent as much as they know how. They just can’t fully understand the love their parents have for them until it is time to love their own child.

Would you agree or disagree? Let us know what you think!

Photo Credit: neurmadic aesthetic

Are You Raising a Spoiled Brat?

Do you want your child to have everything you didn’t? Providing a better home, more comfort and a better education than you had yourself should be the goal of every parent. But that doesn’t mean you need to give them everything or let them do anything they want. Here are a few real life scenarios and how to handle them to keep your kids from becoming the next Paris Hilton.

From time-to-time we all feel guilty for not spending enough time with our kids. Sounds like the perfect time to buy that Wii they have been talking about. Wrong. It’s time for you to take a time out and check your priorities. Fake a doctors appointment tomorrow afternoon and pick your child up from school to go see The Chipmunks (saw it, wasn’t half bad) or hit the batting cages or something else your child has been asking to do.

When you’re having a conversation with another adult does your child try to butt in take over? Unless you are discussing a recent episode of Sponge Bob Squarepants then your child has no business in the conversation. If the topic is appropriate, they can remain in the room but only if they understand the conversation does not involve them. Get them set up in another room with some art supplies or ask them to find a quiet place to read a book.

This last one is a big pet peeve of mine. When your child is struggling with something, such as finishing a puzzle or tying their shoe … let them. I’m not suggesting you sit their watching them bubble up to near tears, but make sure they have given a good effort before stepping in and showing them how to do something. Notice I didn’t say doing it for them.

The most important idea to remember is that children are more-or-less what we make them. Allowing seemingly harmless behaviors like the one’s above in your child’s early years can lead to much bigger problems later on.